so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
