i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Randomize
