I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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