you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
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