found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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