Do you still have your period?
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Randomize
