ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
