I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
