I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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