We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
