I accidentally burped into my bong.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
