this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
