how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
