When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
