whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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