and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Two words: nipple clamps
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