I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
