I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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