I want to walk on stilts...naked
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize
