I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
