Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
