he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
