apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
