Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
