made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
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