So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
