oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
