as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
