Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
