Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
