I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I want to make a zoo with you.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
nutella sex= disaster
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Randomize
