Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
