....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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