The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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