I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
high people should be assigned attendants
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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