HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I smell like Dick and happiness
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
