Umm I'm too high to move.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
