so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
