Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(269): View more from Michigan

I'm on that like soy sauce on rice

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.

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(502): View more from Kentucky

I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.

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(602): View more from Arizona

you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!

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(647): View more from Ontario

I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum

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(704): View more from North Carolina

Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.

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(478): View more from Georgia

I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw

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(305): View more from Florida

Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.

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