My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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