you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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