he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize