All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I did not marry a roomba.
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