I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
