I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
