tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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