I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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