I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
