We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
