i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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