No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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