his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
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