i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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