There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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