please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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