They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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